There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
