nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
