so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
