We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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