I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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