ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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