Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
