roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it's like heaven, but drunker
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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