I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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