I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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