oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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