Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
