At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
