I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
