"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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