Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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