Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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