Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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