Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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