I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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