you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Let's get the cat blown out
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
