I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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