You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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