I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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