my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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