either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
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I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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