One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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