there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
