Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
