Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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