yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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