i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
