I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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