dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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