Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
