Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
