there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She bit a glass in half.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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