I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
