I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
