Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
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You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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