I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
