He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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