Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
