Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
