The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
