All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
