I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can I color on your dick again?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Text me some of your sweat
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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