ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
