i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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