My room smells like vodka and shame
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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