wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
