smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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