I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
