I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
