I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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