i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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